ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i out mim tonsoeep
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