1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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