I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
