So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
