i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
