if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
