GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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