I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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