i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
