i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
