things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
