I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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