I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
