Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
