Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
