It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
