Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm too high and old for this...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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