we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
