ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
