I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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