she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
