those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
