I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And then he peed in my hair
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