The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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