do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
