Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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