Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
