you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
