You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
