so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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