everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
