Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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