You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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