you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
