Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
