God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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