I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
