Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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