He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Come on in and take your pants off
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