No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
