Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
