I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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