the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
