Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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