Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
