got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
