Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
