I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
