After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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