Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
